Most experts say that money problems are the leading cause for divorce. One of the most difficult hurdles for any couple is having healthy discussions over finances. The reason is when it comes to money; men and women view it, spend it and invest it very differently. Women because they are trained to nurture and seek acceptance, they will spend it to create a lifestyle. Men on the other hand, are trained to fix and provide; they generally don’t spend, they invest. No matter who you are, you and your spouse will almost surely come to the marriage with conflicting attitudes about money. One of you might be a hoarder the other a spender; one a planner and the other a dreamer, one a risk taker another a risk avoider.

Several years ago when I was having financial problems in my marriage it affected every aspect of our relationship. In those times all of my discussions about money with my wife would end in a heated argument. I found out quickly: no money! no honey! Financial debt and stress will take the sweetness out of any relationship. In other words, finance does affect your romance in any marital relationship. The strange thing about that season in my relationship with my spouse is that I knew I loved her but the pressure of unpaid bills, the harassment of creditors and the lack of purchasing power was causing the honey to run out. Perhaps you are reading this article now and you are experiencing the pain, strain and disdain of money problems and you don’t know anyway out of this dilemma. Well the good news is the same God that delivered us will surely deliver you and help you put the money and the honey back where it belongs.

First of all, I had to recognize that the adversary knows the significance of money in a marital relationship and works overtime is this area to rob you of the sweetness that many married couples so desperately desire. (I Peter 5:8). Once my wife and I, together, recognized and fully accepted this truth, we began to attack the lack in our life. Today after 20 years we still have kept the money and the honey in our relationship.

How are some steps you can begin to take:

1. Together agree with God and His Word on Financial prosperity in your family. One of our covenant benefits as believers is that we can have wealth and riches in our house. You both must believe this despite where you may be financially (Psalms 112:1-3)

2. Develop a plan to get out of debt. Getting out of debt is one of the wisest decisions any couple can make. Find a debt counselor or financial advisor and map out a system to pay off all of your family debts. This decision and path will begin to bring peace back into your relationship. Stand on the Word of God in Romans 13:8 where the Scripture says “Owe no man anything but to love.”

3. Be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to get financially free. Often times couples or one of the spouses are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to get out of debt. My wife and I were willing to sacrifice many things; like expensive new clothes, going out every other night for dinner, riding in a new vehicle, etc. The Bible says “Even so faith, if it has not works is dead being alone.” In other words, “Faith to get financially free without corresponding action is powerless.” God honors those who are willing to sacrifice and trust him like Abraham, to be Jehovah-Jireh, Our Provider. Sacrifice is a sign of our trust in God, and those who trust Him; He will deliver them.

4. Envision your Family Financially Free. I am convinced that God wants you debt free and drama free. When my wife and I were struggling financially in close to $50,000 in family debt, we never stopped dreaming. We imagined ourselves one living in financial harmony. We saw ourselves one day flowing with money and honey. The bible says “without a vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18) You don’t need money to have a vision. Grab your spouse and go out dream driving and expect the honey and money to begin to flow again in your relationship.