And, the verdict is...discipline. WOW! How is it that parents have gotten so off track in this area? It seems that punishment, not discipline, is the ruling in most cases of challenges with our children’s behavior. Punishment is the reaction to misbehavior or the negative consequence for negative behavior. It’s a parent’s way of keeping a “child in line.” No great investment of time is required with punishment. Our children are punished for their behavior, and that’s that!

Discipline, on the other hand, implies a process of implementing parental values to our children and teaching them the self control they will need to become independent, productive adults. Discipline comes from the Latin word “disciplina,” which means instruction. When we discipline, we teach.

Instituting discipline is easier said than done. We find that our children are not so easily taught. That’s because they have a will of their own. Yet, deep inside, they desire our leadership.

Punishment stops the behavior but does not teach our children anything. Then, the battle begins, parent verses child, causing frustration and rebellion. Now, the doors to our souls have been opened by this conflict and the enemy gladly enters and sets up camp. We are warned to give no place to the devil (Eph 4:27). Therefore discipline, not punishment, is the god-ordained mechanism necessary to correct unwanted behavior by elements of teaching.

Some time ago, when my daughter came home, she would drop her coat on the bed, the chair or hang it anywhere other than a hanger placed in her closet. This bothered me. I grew tired of seeing her coats thrown across the furniture. It was disorderly and represented slothfulness. After a few unfulfilled requests to change her behavior, I made her the official coat check for our house. Her job became hanging coats for everyone in the house and all visitors. Her position lasted for a week. At the end of the week, we had no further problems with her hanging up her coat. She commented that she “hated” hanging up our things and taking the taunting from her sibling. As a result, her behavior was changed and directed on the correct path.

Of course, this was a small matter. But, you get the idea. My discipline technique worked. When your child is exhibiting inappropriate behavior, ask the Holy Spirit for the behavior management/discipline technique you should use to change it. He’ll give you what you ask for just as He gave it to me. Remember this, mercy triumphs over judgment and discipline over punishment.